I learned something new this weekend. I now know why people choose 1 or 2 colors of paint for a room. Why, you ask? Because regardless of what pre-conceived notions you may have, paint can be expensive. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU BUY 6 FUCKING COLORS!! Yes, dear friends, 6 colors. For the product of my loins' room. This poor little bugger is going to stroke out when he goes in there for the first time. Are they six calm muted colors chosen and designed lovingly to calm and ease his terrifying transition into the world outside of a vagina? Nope. Not even close. 6 primary colors; I think I even remember the names of each, in case you want to look them up: Bloody Blazin' Red, Holy Shit That's Blue Blue, Yellower Than Piss Yellow, Radioactive Puke From A Pissed Off Goblin Green, Bruised Baby of Grimace And Barney Purple, and Goddamn The Virgin Mary Isn't Pure Enough To Wear That White White.
Japan just called. They want my wife's help in choosing the colors for their next seizure inducing children's show.